Friendship Ruined by Temptation

I once had a very good friend, the type of guy that I could joke around with, talk politics without getting into a fist fight, drink a beer, shoot some pool and laugh at the world with. He was someone I deeply respected and trusted – until last week.

You see, I recently found out that he was cheating on his wife with someone I know, or at least thought I knew, and I was hurt, but even more, I was surprised.

I’ve been thinking about what he did. And examining my feelings about this, I’ve come to a couple of conclusions. Losing a dear friend feels different than losing a lover. When love leaves, I’m left with a cold, lonely emotional black void. I question my self worth and constantly ask “Why?” Sure, there are moments of anger. But, the overwhelming feeling is emptiness. But, when I lose a friend, the only feeling I have is one of angry betrayal. I don’t ask “Why?” I don’t know why. But I simply don’t.

When love leaves that empty feeling always remains, even years later. Sure, it diminishes greatly, but it’s always there. It lingers forever. When I lose a friend, it abruptly ends, like crashing into an unmovable wall. There are no lingering feelings. It just stops. It’s over, the end.

Now, I’m not a particularly organized religion kind of guy. I was raised a Roman Catholic, was an alter boy, played on the church basketball team and received the sacraments. But, as I grew I began to question and once I learned the history of my church, I turned away. However, I do believe in God, in a supreme goodness. I’m on good terms with my God. And I gave up trying to argue with her a long time ago; she’s always right.

My life path is now in her very capable hands even though, at times I feel like a ball of yarn being batted back and forth between her paws, as she tries to unravel me. But, I know I never will. And at these times I hear my God laugh, a loud, joyous, and infectious laugh; the kind of laugh that causes me to laugh too, even when I don’t yet know the joke.

See, she has a wonderful sense of humor and reminds me of this on almost a daily basis with little things like coming down with a cold three days before I have a major business meeting, just enough time to constantly pop Zicam, like Pez, so that I can function. Ha, ha…. Or, the time I needed to drive to DC for yet another business meeting and my front bumper partially falls off. Now, that was funny! So, she plays her little jokes on me, not out of spite, but to constantly remind me that she’s in charge so I’d better keep my nose clean.

And since I believe in a supreme goodness, I also have to believe in supreme evil, else how can I determine and measure the value of goodness unless I have something to measure it against. And since I do believe in a supreme evil, I’ve given this a lot of thought too. For me, evil comes in essentially two forms. There are evil spirits, pranksters, his foot soldiers, bad to the bone, willing and capable of doing and causing terrible things with all the tools of their trade, save one, only one, which is the only tool the evil one ever uses; the root cause of all evil. That tool is temptation.

Think about it. Think about it hard. Ponder this notion. Let it roll around in your thoughts. Dig deeply into the times when you were evil. Dig deep. And if you do, I think you’ll agree with me.

Take the seven deadly sins, for example. Proverbs 6:16-19 declares, “There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: 1) haughty eyes, 2) a lying tongue, 3) hands that shed innocent blood, 4) a heart that devises wicked schemes, 5) feet that are quick to rush into evil, 6) a false witness who pours out lies, and 7) a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.”

So, let’s take them one at a time and let’s begin with “Haughty eyes” or pride, snobbery and arrogance. Easy, we’re tempted to think more of ourselves than we do of others; racism certainly falls into this category. “A lying tongue”, again easy, we lie because we’re tempted to, because we’re weak and temporarily turn away from truth. We’re tempted to our own advantage and away from shame, instead of our own morality. “Hands that shed innocent blood”, murder, whether we’re trained as weapons of war, we do it out of passion, or to simply improve our material condition here on earth, the root cause is temptation. “A heart that devises wicked schemes”, “Devises”, need I say more? Likewise, temptation is the root cause of why we have “feet that are quick to rush into evil.” “A false witness who pours out lies”, is essentially the same as “A lying tongue.” and finally “A man who stirs up dissension among brothers” does this because he’s tempted to.

In all these cases, we do what we want to do and we want to do these things because we’re tempted to.

Okay, back to my ex friend. He did what he did because he was tempted to. His temptation, I’m sure began as a small grain of sand, a passing thought, a cancer cell that he chose not to cut away. That cell grew, bringing additional thoughts of desire, leading to planned, seemingly accidental opportunity, culminating in adultry, lying to his wife and losing my respect and friendship - forever.

So, here I sit, tempted with all my heart to hate and despise him, forever. Yet, I won’t. I refuse to be tempted. But, I will feel sorrow for him, his wife and the other woman, for his temptation has probably ruined all their lives, certainly their relationships.

And my God, well she’s smiling… just waiting for the next time when she’ll bat me around a little, ping-pong’ing me back and forth between her paws, knowing that I won’t unravel… and making me a better man in the process.